Your Guide To Going Formal
Sun Herald
Sunday December 3, 1989
IT'S NEVER too late to learn the right way to do things. Just ask American author P.J. O'Rourke whose book, Modern Manners, An Etiquette Book for Rude People, (not yet available in Australia) provides some startling insights to modern life.
For instance under the heading, Table Manners, O'Rourke reports: "Table manners are a test to see whether you're acting like a beast because you're rudely ignorant or acting like a beast because you're fashionably amusing."
It's a long way from that other bible of good taste, Debrett's Etiquette and Modern Manners. A guest at the dinner table, Debrett's tells us, should try and make others forget "he" is eating.
"He eats and drinks quietly and without any fuss, does not, of course, talk with his mouth full, avoids looking greedy and also avoids eating so slowly that the progress of the meal is held up."
These things are important to keep in mind because formality is upon us. High school-leavers are refining their dance-steps and looking for that right outfit.
And from "formals" it's only one short step to formal dinner parties, learning how to dress properly, learning how to ask a woman out on a date and how to style your hair.
High school graduates will also be anxious to know the correct behaviour for formal occasions.
Let's look at Conversation.
Debrett's says conversation should be divided between partners on either side, anything else is extremely rude. As for topics, it recommends anything so long as no one present is upset by what is said. Politics and religion spell danger, as does "malicious, ill-natured or ill-worded gossip".
But P.J. O'Rourke says the proper subject of dinner party conversation(other than with best friends) is savage criticism of the food. "Criticising a hostess's food is now considered Christian charity compared to what you could be saying about the hostess herself."
Vogue's Guide to Good Form has the real tips.
Guests, it says, should be amusing, well-informed and adept at listening and telling stories. They dress "suitably" and can engage quiet people in conversation, drawing fascinating details out of the repartee. They never talk about hobby horses, they never talk shop and they do not initiate talk on politics or religion.
So you're a dream dinner guest, you don't slurp your soup, you can chat to the bishop and the actress but darling, what have you got on?
Evening dress, according to Debrett's should be a tribute to your hosts. Women should dress up as much as poss. "Festive" is the word they use and clothes need to be of "opulent" material. The dress can be long or short and in some cases it need not be a dress at all-"trousers may be worn, according to fashion or preference," says Debrett's.
We at Tempo have included gloves from Dents as part of the line-up for women. As Scarlett O'Hara told herself, you can always tell a lady by her gloves. We're not talking woollen mitts here, go for the elbow-length style but not white kid unless you're expecting royalty.
Apparently it's correct to leave gloves on while dancing or greeting people but please, take them off when you eat.
And don't forget the Hairstyle. The latest, the very latest hairstyle is short and versatile, or at least that's the word from Sloanes Haircut- ters. Short hair can be slicked back off the fore- head, slicked down with mousse or wax and the whole look is soft and dressy.
If you have long hair, we have been told by Joy Volkers from Wella the Look in London is reminiscent of Catwoman. If you don't have long hair you can get hair-pieces which sit atop your coiffure (but don't dance too heartily).
Dancing ballroom style is the speciality of siblings Karen and Clive Phillips (pictured)who want to change the conservative image of formal dance. Ballroom dancing,like other disciplines,is a matter of learning the rules so you can break them they say.
Clive says the highly formal nature of ballroom dance turns people away but take it from him,it's easy,it's fun |
If you want to see Karen and Clive jive and shimmy the night away,they are performing at the Newcastle Civic Centre on Friday.
© 1989 Sun Herald